We live in a society where failure is seen as weakness, and anything less than perfect is seen as a failure
The first time I heard the term “perfectionism” was when I was 16. My teacher referred to it as a potential answer to the job interview question: “What is your biggest weakness?” Little did she realize that it was the truth for many students in the class who had spent the last 12 years in a school that served detentions for crossing things out or using an ink eraser in their school books.
From the age of seven, I was indoctrinated to believe that perfection was the only standard and that anything less was not only disgraceful but deserving of punishment. Once a week, we were made to demonstrate that our skirts reached our ankles. Our hemlines had to cover our knees at all times, but they couldn’t be too long either, as it made a girl look “messy.” Our hair ties could only be brown, black, or red, and our heels were measured against a ruler anytime a teacher got a sweeping suspicion the wedge was too high. …
Don’t let the social pressures of the holiday leave you bankrupted for 2021
Gifts, decorations, cards, holiday food, wrapping and snacks — even in the most difficult of times, some traditions never change — but in many cases, income does.
Regardless of what year we’re in or what circumstances we’re facing, Christmas is a financially stressful holiday, and it will be more so this year than ever, and you can’t blame people.
After experiencing what has been the most confusing, unpredictable and economically uncertain year in modern history, people worldwide are facing a holiday season away from their families with less money this year than last. …
Scams, overspending and environmentalism, oh my.
Despite the financial hellhole that 2020 has been, Black Friday is the tradition that doesn’t want to quit, and it’s coming full-force this year. All of us are currently being bombarded with unabashed sales marketing for 15%, 40% or up to 60% sales from companies that most of us are pretty certain we unsubscribed from the email lists of a long time ago.
As a no-buy connoisseur with an appetite for a bargain, I’m not against a good deal. …
and it’s not worth the cost
Last year I decided to quit most of my social media accounts. I left Instagram, Facebook and deleted Twitter entirely.
I lasted nine months before I started missing bookstagram accounts, so I decided to make a new Instagram dedicated solely to writing and book discussions. I never returned to Twitter or Facebook.
When I returned to Instagram, it was tempting to check up on people. Like many, curiosity got the better of me. After a few days back on Instagram, I searched for the accounts of old acquaintances or influencers I used to follow.
I remember how I used to feel when I saw their photos. I felt a rush of shame and embarrassment; I felt so lonely and exiled from their lives. They were everything I aspired to be at the time, and more. They had friends, social lives and high-paying careers — and then there was me. …
Because, believe it or not, parenting isn’t for everyone, and some of us prefer dogs.
When I was eight, all my friends had Baby Born dolls. Getting fancy prams and cute, trendy, seasonal outfits gave you access to a whole new world of group pram strolls in the park, sleepovers and small garden parties, and I wanted in.
I asked for both a Baby Born and Baby Annabelle for Christmas, and by January, I was part of the pack. It didn’t get serious until one of the girls at a slumber party asked me what I wanted to call my daughter. …
None of us imagined ourselves as growing up to be uninspired, unmotivated adults. But just because the world was harder than you imagined it would be doesn’t mean your potential is any less.
There are a lot of misconceptions in life about the importance of work and identity. Due to the nature of being a capitalist society, what one does for a living becomes a significant social marker against which others judge us.
What we do for a living gives a shallow and inaccurate indicator of our intelligence, academic background, income, social class, interests and potential.
Because of that, it’s easy to feel down and even ashamed or embarrassed when you’re in a career which others judge as lesser than, which doesn’t pay much money or doesn’t reflect your values or interests. This fear of social judgement causes many people to internalise feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy, which ultimately leaves them feeling unmotivated to pursue anything more significant. …
I was at a Black Lives Matter protest in Edinburgh when the statue of slave trader Edward Colston was pulled down by protestors in Bristol. It was relieving to hear Mayor Marvin Rees say he felt no “sense of loss” when BLM demonstrators threw the controversial statue into the harbour. It was about time someone official acknowledged how vile our cultural celebration of racists is.
The Brits think racism is “just in America”. Spoiler alert: just because we have fewer police shootings of black people doesn’t mean racism doesn’t exist in the UK. We’ve spent hundreds of years reaping the benefits of colonialism, and we still live in a system which deems black people as lesser. It’s not a coincidence that 0.1% of active professors in the UK are black women, compared with 68% who are white men. Nor is it OK that over 70% of ethnic minority workers sexperience racial harassment at work in the last five years and around 60% have been subjected to unfair treatment by their employer because of their race. …
Feeling Depressed Isn’t The Same As Having Depression
It’s very easy to feel ashamed of having depression in a world of self-help and personal development.
Most people in the personal development world managed to overcome their depression and anxiety by pulling themselves together, getting over the victim mentality and getting on with life thanks to a series of rituals, daily habits and objectives.
All of this is likely true. It’s possible to manage your thoughts and pull yourself out of a rut because, well, technically it’s the only way you can overcome a lot of mental health issues. …
Three weeks ago, I had a gas leak. Thankfully, it wasn’t anything serious — It was a small leak coming from a gas ring on my stove. Had I not had as sensitive a nose as I do, it probably would have gone unnoticed. My CO2 alarm didn’t pick it up, nor did my partner. I was nearly too frightened to call a gas man for fear of wasting an emergency service’s time.
Thankfully, I didn’t waste their time at all. I’ve never been more relieved and validated than being told there was a minor gas leak.
However, this news meant that my stove was too dangerous to use, and I had to wait over three weeks for my landlord to arrange a replacement. …
When I joined university nine years ago, I was so excited about my future. Like many people out there, university was what I’d worked my whole towards; it was the only reason I’d slaved away at my homework and extracurricular activities since the age of ten.
In my mind, University was where I would truly find myself; where I would fall in love, make lifelong friends, discover my career prospects and transition from sheltered-child to respectable and valuable adult.
Except I didn’t meet anyone romantically (in fact, I barely met anyone), I graduated with zero career guidance or prospects and I came out feeling more lost and confused than before I went in. …
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